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There was a twitter discussion recently that went pretty wide in connection to a really convoluted online rant about how members of one fandom kind of behave badly and this leads others to stereotype and to condemn, and how the fandom circles the wagons and cries "persecution". And there aren't any winners in these sorts of discussions because there are a-holes in all fandoms of everything everywhere. And we SHOULD call out and condemn a-hole behavior, but we should NOT pretend we're being victims when we aren't, or disparage everybody who likes a certain TV show about magic ponies just because certain members of that fandom are obnoxious, poorly socialized jagoffs with serious entitlement issues.
No, what concerned me was, during the discussion a statement was made, and the statement is this: "People are fans because they're damaged in some way."
I've heard this statement before, and it never fails to push my buttons. First off, it's patently untrue. More importantly, it's used over and over to excuse bad behavior. It's used to keep people from developing as human beings, to stop people from learning how to interact with the rest of the world, to tell the dysfunctional and the obnoxious and the smelly that it's OK to stink or holler or behave like a toddler, because "you're fan who is a damaged, special person, and you can't be expected to follow the rules of civilized society."
It's a statement used by users who never work a decent job, never buy a con badge or pay their share of a hotel room or a meal, cheat others on commissioned artwork or promised services, never clean up after a gathering, who don't want to stand in line with everybody else, who insist others worry about their special diets or their fear of balloons. It's used by people out for a free ride. it gets picked up by others who might be watching and trying to figure out how to behave themselves. And as somebody who has done a good share of the work over the years, it grinds my gears seeing these users abuse our work. It GRINDS MY F-ING GEARS.
There are damaged people everywhere; learning disabilities, physical challenges, serious medical conditions, missing limbs or eyes or mobility. They're everywhere, even in the fan world. Most of them are getting along in the world like the rest of us, taking care of business. Not careening through crowds behaving like jerks and expecting a free pass because DAMAGED. Compared to being in a wheelchair or dying of lung failure, getting picked on in high school seems like small potatoes. Because it is. EVERYBODY got picked on in high school.
And that's the truth, that being a fan doesn't make you special. Most of what you really like is corporate-owned mass media produced and consumed by millions and millions and millions of people. Nothing special about that. What you watch or read or play doesn't make you special, and getting picked on in school doesn't make you special. It makes you a human being on the planet Earth down here in the cage with the rest of us monkeys.
Liking something a lot doesn't give you license to harass strangers, to holler indoors, to menace others with your play-fighting, to threaten, to stalk, or to whine. Here in the real world you're expected to act like a grownup no matter what TV show you watch or what role playing game you play. You might have to wear a shirt with a collar some time, you might have to engage in conversations with people who don't care who Spock's parents were, you might have to endure a ball game on TV at some point. You might have to wait in line quietly for a panel or wait your turn to ask a question or play well with others in groups like your average 6-year old. I know, right? This is hard!
We are at the point now where fandom as a whole needs to grow the hell up and quit being repulsive antisocial trolls. We need to quit harassing women, for one thing. We need to remind each other that rape threats are not acceptable discourse any time, any where, for any reason. We need to show others what respect and friendship and courtesy mean, because they learn from us what's acceptable.
For WAY TOO LONG fans have put up with ugly behavior because we don't want to be the bad guy, we don't want to become our parents or our bosses or the people in high school who asked us why our T-shirts were so weird. We wanted to be inclusive and welcoming and non-judgmental. And that's great, when people don't abuse your hospitality. Well, our hospitality is being abused and it needs to stop 'cause it's grindin' my gears.
So the next time somebody starts acting like a jerk, don't be afraid to call 'em out and say "Hey buddy, use your indoor voice please." or "Dial it back there a notch, no need to threaten death on someone over a TV show." or the kind of basic socialization we might use with a elementary school student. Wouldn't it be nice to live in a better world? This is where the real challenge begins, treating others with respect. Even if you're a fan. Nobody gets a pass on civilization.
No, what concerned me was, during the discussion a statement was made, and the statement is this: "People are fans because they're damaged in some way."
I've heard this statement before, and it never fails to push my buttons. First off, it's patently untrue. More importantly, it's used over and over to excuse bad behavior. It's used to keep people from developing as human beings, to stop people from learning how to interact with the rest of the world, to tell the dysfunctional and the obnoxious and the smelly that it's OK to stink or holler or behave like a toddler, because "you're fan who is a damaged, special person, and you can't be expected to follow the rules of civilized society."
It's a statement used by users who never work a decent job, never buy a con badge or pay their share of a hotel room or a meal, cheat others on commissioned artwork or promised services, never clean up after a gathering, who don't want to stand in line with everybody else, who insist others worry about their special diets or their fear of balloons. It's used by people out for a free ride. it gets picked up by others who might be watching and trying to figure out how to behave themselves. And as somebody who has done a good share of the work over the years, it grinds my gears seeing these users abuse our work. It GRINDS MY F-ING GEARS.
There are damaged people everywhere; learning disabilities, physical challenges, serious medical conditions, missing limbs or eyes or mobility. They're everywhere, even in the fan world. Most of them are getting along in the world like the rest of us, taking care of business. Not careening through crowds behaving like jerks and expecting a free pass because DAMAGED. Compared to being in a wheelchair or dying of lung failure, getting picked on in high school seems like small potatoes. Because it is. EVERYBODY got picked on in high school.
And that's the truth, that being a fan doesn't make you special. Most of what you really like is corporate-owned mass media produced and consumed by millions and millions and millions of people. Nothing special about that. What you watch or read or play doesn't make you special, and getting picked on in school doesn't make you special. It makes you a human being on the planet Earth down here in the cage with the rest of us monkeys.
Liking something a lot doesn't give you license to harass strangers, to holler indoors, to menace others with your play-fighting, to threaten, to stalk, or to whine. Here in the real world you're expected to act like a grownup no matter what TV show you watch or what role playing game you play. You might have to wear a shirt with a collar some time, you might have to engage in conversations with people who don't care who Spock's parents were, you might have to endure a ball game on TV at some point. You might have to wait in line quietly for a panel or wait your turn to ask a question or play well with others in groups like your average 6-year old. I know, right? This is hard!
We are at the point now where fandom as a whole needs to grow the hell up and quit being repulsive antisocial trolls. We need to quit harassing women, for one thing. We need to remind each other that rape threats are not acceptable discourse any time, any where, for any reason. We need to show others what respect and friendship and courtesy mean, because they learn from us what's acceptable.
For WAY TOO LONG fans have put up with ugly behavior because we don't want to be the bad guy, we don't want to become our parents or our bosses or the people in high school who asked us why our T-shirts were so weird. We wanted to be inclusive and welcoming and non-judgmental. And that's great, when people don't abuse your hospitality. Well, our hospitality is being abused and it needs to stop 'cause it's grindin' my gears.
So the next time somebody starts acting like a jerk, don't be afraid to call 'em out and say "Hey buddy, use your indoor voice please." or "Dial it back there a notch, no need to threaten death on someone over a TV show." or the kind of basic socialization we might use with a elementary school student. Wouldn't it be nice to live in a better world? This is where the real challenge begins, treating others with respect. Even if you're a fan. Nobody gets a pass on civilization.
