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mansion accomplished
Feb. 22nd, 2010 12:09 pmVentured out into the sticks yesterday and accomplished both our missions and some other stuff besides. Mission one was the acquisition - for ten bucks - of a framed Keane print ("Best Friend"), with a little brass plaque identifiying it as by one Walter Keane. Since Walter did nothing but count money in that little husband-wife operation, the plague is both a yardstick of when the thing was originally produced AND an ironic statement second to none.
It occurs to me there may be those out there who don't know about Margaret Keane. Well, you know those tacky big-eye paintings that were the vogue in the 60s and 70s before people realized how horrifying they were? That's her. The Keanes divorced in 1965, and Margaret began revealing how she actually painted everything and Walter just took the credit. This led to a 1986 trial in which the issue was settled by a good old fashioned "paint-off", where Margaret produced a Keane painting before the eyes of the judge and jury, while Walter claimed a shoulder injury prevented him from painting. Margaret won that one, and Walter felt sad.
The other mission we accomplished was the purchase of the much-discussed anime magazine we discussed a few weeks ago, and it lives up, or rather down, to its cover rather magnificently. Where to begin...
-the actual anime content is a one-page review of Air Gear and one page of capsule reviews of fansubs.
-Jam-packed with typos, the magazine manages to spell its editors name two different ways. I am "dissapoimented" with the "ridicilious" amount of typos in this magazine.
-There are no ads other than blocky 72 dpi house ads.
-Convention reports are: an incredibly mean-spirited review of Con No Baka, a review of a one-day show at the Rochester Institute Of Technology, and reviews of two small Hobbystar shows. The review of the December Hobbystar show is basically a continuation of how much everybody hated Con No Baka. Conventions are judged on ticket prices - the March Hobbystar show cost $25, which this magazine helpfully informs us could be spent on 5 McDonalds specials or 50 McDonalds cheeseburgers. The author expresses amazement at how much more the March show cost, and in the VERY NEXT PARAGRAPH writes about how much larger the March show was in terms of convention center space. Wow, I wonder if those two facts are connected. The word "Hobbystar" is never mentioned.
The Con No Baka review was inexplicably hateful. The con was a failure, there was never going to be another one, the organizer was ten thousand dollars in debt - and writing a big whiny review six months after the fact is the work of a profoundly insecure individual desperate to find somebody weaker to beat up on.
Anime North is not mentioned except in passing.
-4 pages on how to pick up girls at anime cons. This consists of 2 pages of setup, 1 page of actual rules (think positive, have good posture, maintain eye contact, have something to say), and 1 page with a big picture of a "Bleach chain".
-1 page on con survival tips, which includes the helpful advice, repeated here exactly as printed: "Water bottle-a lot of attendee's neglect to bring their own water, thus they got cough up for very expensive water bottles they could have brought home for free. Saving 2-3 bucks goes along way" (sic).
-1 page article on glomping, which is described thusly: "Supposedly originating from anime conventions, the term describes the sound of a hug and has since evolved into the verbal description of the act of hugging a cosplayer." I guess there is a big controversy about the origin of "glomping", hence the "supposedly."
-6 pages of photos of the model from the cover, who doesn't get to keep the costume and isn't happy about it. 7 pages, if you count the back cover
-4 pages of photos of the O.F.F. Cosplay Group. They have won 3 (three!!) awards for cosplay at anime conventions, so, as the magazine says, they are "the hottest all girl cosplay group". Their website no longer works, so I guess they aren't the hottest any more.
-1 page interview with a Canadian Glico representative about Pocky. This is actually the most interesting part of the magazine.
-Sidebar articles about how the editor took a vacation in St. Thomas and was shocked to find there are Sanrio stores in other countries, and how somebody on a reality show came out dressed as characters from Wizard Of Oz (hence, cosplay).
-Defensive, rambling editorial about Coca Cola Zero, how they don't pay writers or models, and how "you can read anime reviews of 5 year old, dubbed, imported anime anywhere else, but no where else will you read so much about you. And I didn't mean that in a gay way."
-1 page devoted to a photo of the photoshopped Pikachu gerbil and a plea for readers to send in their photos of their pets wearing costumes. And a plea for whoever created the "Pikachu mouse" to contact them so they may be properly credited.
-A page of fan art and a page of "rants" which complains about wannabe Japanese and about people who complain about bad English dubbing.
And that's it, 32 pages of full color glossy magazine printed with 100% FAIL brand ink. It is an amazing artifact of sub-fanzine level writing, devoid of actual useful information, colored with a myopic worldview, flavored with whine. I am proud to own it.
It occurs to me there may be those out there who don't know about Margaret Keane. Well, you know those tacky big-eye paintings that were the vogue in the 60s and 70s before people realized how horrifying they were? That's her. The Keanes divorced in 1965, and Margaret began revealing how she actually painted everything and Walter just took the credit. This led to a 1986 trial in which the issue was settled by a good old fashioned "paint-off", where Margaret produced a Keane painting before the eyes of the judge and jury, while Walter claimed a shoulder injury prevented him from painting. Margaret won that one, and Walter felt sad.
The other mission we accomplished was the purchase of the much-discussed anime magazine we discussed a few weeks ago, and it lives up, or rather down, to its cover rather magnificently. Where to begin...
-the actual anime content is a one-page review of Air Gear and one page of capsule reviews of fansubs.
-Jam-packed with typos, the magazine manages to spell its editors name two different ways. I am "dissapoimented" with the "ridicilious" amount of typos in this magazine.
-There are no ads other than blocky 72 dpi house ads.
-Convention reports are: an incredibly mean-spirited review of Con No Baka, a review of a one-day show at the Rochester Institute Of Technology, and reviews of two small Hobbystar shows. The review of the December Hobbystar show is basically a continuation of how much everybody hated Con No Baka. Conventions are judged on ticket prices - the March Hobbystar show cost $25, which this magazine helpfully informs us could be spent on 5 McDonalds specials or 50 McDonalds cheeseburgers. The author expresses amazement at how much more the March show cost, and in the VERY NEXT PARAGRAPH writes about how much larger the March show was in terms of convention center space. Wow, I wonder if those two facts are connected. The word "Hobbystar" is never mentioned.
The Con No Baka review was inexplicably hateful. The con was a failure, there was never going to be another one, the organizer was ten thousand dollars in debt - and writing a big whiny review six months after the fact is the work of a profoundly insecure individual desperate to find somebody weaker to beat up on.
Anime North is not mentioned except in passing.
-4 pages on how to pick up girls at anime cons. This consists of 2 pages of setup, 1 page of actual rules (think positive, have good posture, maintain eye contact, have something to say), and 1 page with a big picture of a "Bleach chain".
-1 page on con survival tips, which includes the helpful advice, repeated here exactly as printed: "Water bottle-a lot of attendee's neglect to bring their own water, thus they got cough up for very expensive water bottles they could have brought home for free. Saving 2-3 bucks goes along way" (sic).
-1 page article on glomping, which is described thusly: "Supposedly originating from anime conventions, the term describes the sound of a hug and has since evolved into the verbal description of the act of hugging a cosplayer." I guess there is a big controversy about the origin of "glomping", hence the "supposedly."
-6 pages of photos of the model from the cover, who doesn't get to keep the costume and isn't happy about it. 7 pages, if you count the back cover
-4 pages of photos of the O.F.F. Cosplay Group. They have won 3 (three!!) awards for cosplay at anime conventions, so, as the magazine says, they are "the hottest all girl cosplay group". Their website no longer works, so I guess they aren't the hottest any more.
-1 page interview with a Canadian Glico representative about Pocky. This is actually the most interesting part of the magazine.
-Sidebar articles about how the editor took a vacation in St. Thomas and was shocked to find there are Sanrio stores in other countries, and how somebody on a reality show came out dressed as characters from Wizard Of Oz (hence, cosplay).
-Defensive, rambling editorial about Coca Cola Zero, how they don't pay writers or models, and how "you can read anime reviews of 5 year old, dubbed, imported anime anywhere else, but no where else will you read so much about you. And I didn't mean that in a gay way."
-1 page devoted to a photo of the photoshopped Pikachu gerbil and a plea for readers to send in their photos of their pets wearing costumes. And a plea for whoever created the "Pikachu mouse" to contact them so they may be properly credited.
-A page of fan art and a page of "rants" which complains about wannabe Japanese and about people who complain about bad English dubbing.
And that's it, 32 pages of full color glossy magazine printed with 100% FAIL brand ink. It is an amazing artifact of sub-fanzine level writing, devoid of actual useful information, colored with a myopic worldview, flavored with whine. I am proud to own it.
